So I feel like every time I write this I need to apologise for lack of communication...there I did it again...moving on.
I'm currently in Canada enjoying the festive time of year with my WHOLE family which is an extremely rare occurrence and something which excites me greatly.But I realised at the beginning of this week how tired I actually was-when I went to sleep at 7.30pm one evening only to be awake by 6am the next...a healthy 11 hours sleep and I felt human. There have many things that have been on my mind to share but I think I will save those until I come home...
Thursday 29 December 2011
Sunday 9 October 2011
A very normal transformation...
This is at the 2nd time I've tried to write this blog...I gave it a different title last time and its still sitting in my drafts but then too much time had lapsed and I thought I needed to start fully again...so here we go...I realise that I last wrote over a month ago, one of my best friends Abi and I used to say 'alot can happen in 2 weeks' and that is certainly true-which means a whole bunch of stuff can happen in a month. I wanted this to be a really beautiful, poetic painted view of how God has worked and moved in my life over these last few weeks but I fear from this beginning its going to be far from that, but I will continue nonetheless and I'm hoping the title may become clear as well...I'll leave that for you to decide.
So I last wrote in August about being broken and how I believed God was breaking me down-like a lego tower being dismantled piece by piece (if you look down the bottom there should be a button that says 'previous' try clicking there :) ) So I got to the end of myself, this pile of broken me all over the floor and left going 'What now?' God's timing is always perfect and had allowed circumstances contribute to my breaking, which is hard but I realise for me, now, necessary. Then a light, staff conference for CAP which as ever, an awesome time to come away and to rest, to be with God and his people and hear His heart. It was exactly what many of us needed. But in my mind, my thoughts I was struggling-because I was in pieces. But God used this time to even speak to me in my brokenness-He is so good to us and everything in me was crying out for more of Him but there was stuff He had to deal with first
As I said in my last blog this period of brokenness had led me to confess my deepest,darkest sin not only to people I loved but people I respected most in Christ. I had arranged to drive up and see these friends after conference with Rosie and whilst I wanted to see them-almost more than anything else in world, I could have also waited forever for that day to come...because I knew what it would mean. It would be coming and be totally honest about who I was. Something I had not done for 11 years (this is how long I had struggled/sustained this). You see they had offered to prayer it through with me, to ministry to me and through the Holy Spirit deliver me from it. This is something I had always and yet never wanted because it would mean letting go. It would mean allowing this persona which I had held up all my Christian life to fall...to open the locked door and let God look inside pull it all out and see all the damage it had done. So I picked up Rosie and we drove. Our friends live in Scotland, just over the boundary, in the middle of nowhere in a converted church (complete with grave yard in the garden :) ) now with a fully facilitated log cabin attached in the back yard. It is so peaceful not just because of position but because of presence, the presence of God. Its a beautiful place. So we arrived and in all honesty I don't remember alot about the beginning of the night...and then we came to prayer. I won't go into everything we prayed because I'm not here to talk about the formula...that's not what this is about...but I can tell you one thing: God came in the room and his angels were in room. I'm not saying this because I saw things (which I did) or because I heard things (which I did) but because I am a different person as a result of that night, I am not the same person. There is a song by Godfrey Birtill that says
and I have always said/sang that and kinda believed it and kinda knew it to be true but following that night I knew it was true...
But I have to honest - I didn't believe it initially-I explained-like some of my other God experiences, to feel incredibly different and be on some weird sort of high, like I was floated on clouds and it was all nice...but it didn't and I woke and went to bed feeling very normal, being tempted by the stuff I had just been 'delivered' from and this disconcerted me abit...I was uneasy myself-I felt different but I also felt very me, very human and as the weekend went on with more prayer and time in the presence of God I became increasingly anxious about going home and this change was just going to stay here and I was going to go home the same as I had so many times before...then a song that came to me on the Saturday morning that we pumped out of the car on the drive of home,Holding Nothing Back-Tim Hughes:
And I realised, this is true for me now-This is who I am...I am changed and I had a choice, do I chose to live with the change or do I ignore it? Casting crowns put it in one of their songs
But I realised, that's the point-its JESUS that has done the change-its NOT me, its God, HE is the one who has changed me, HE is the one who has set me free, HE is the one who has touched my life. I have had to make a choice to continue to live in that though...so I currently have boundaries to help me including having someone babysit my computer for a while-hence the lack of blogs (just so you know).
I have been utterly broken. I know now there is NOTHING of good in me, except what Christ has done in and through me. He is the one who has cleanse me, set me free. I am by no means the finished article and I know that will not happen until I get to be with my Lord in glory (oh Lord for that day to come) but I know that I am NOT the same person-I still look the same, talk the same, walk the same but I think completely differently. I feel light...that's the best way to describe it. It is like a light has finally been turned on in the last room of the house...the darkness that haunted me is no longer there because the light of Christ has exposed it and for years being blinded by the light-I've now allowed it to shine.
So am I still broken? Yes but, "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise." Psalm 51:7
and Jesus talking about himself as the cornerstone :"Anyone who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; anyone on whom it falls will be crushed.” Luke 20:18
Yes I am still very much broken...but I am allowing God to put me back together bit by bit built on a foundation of Him and only Him.
He is so beautiful and is worth EVERYTHING.
So I last wrote in August about being broken and how I believed God was breaking me down-like a lego tower being dismantled piece by piece (if you look down the bottom there should be a button that says 'previous' try clicking there :) ) So I got to the end of myself, this pile of broken me all over the floor and left going 'What now?' God's timing is always perfect and had allowed circumstances contribute to my breaking, which is hard but I realise for me, now, necessary. Then a light, staff conference for CAP which as ever, an awesome time to come away and to rest, to be with God and his people and hear His heart. It was exactly what many of us needed. But in my mind, my thoughts I was struggling-because I was in pieces. But God used this time to even speak to me in my brokenness-He is so good to us and everything in me was crying out for more of Him but there was stuff He had to deal with first
As I said in my last blog this period of brokenness had led me to confess my deepest,darkest sin not only to people I loved but people I respected most in Christ. I had arranged to drive up and see these friends after conference with Rosie and whilst I wanted to see them-almost more than anything else in world, I could have also waited forever for that day to come...because I knew what it would mean. It would be coming and be totally honest about who I was. Something I had not done for 11 years (this is how long I had struggled/sustained this). You see they had offered to prayer it through with me, to ministry to me and through the Holy Spirit deliver me from it. This is something I had always and yet never wanted because it would mean letting go. It would mean allowing this persona which I had held up all my Christian life to fall...to open the locked door and let God look inside pull it all out and see all the damage it had done. So I picked up Rosie and we drove. Our friends live in Scotland, just over the boundary, in the middle of nowhere in a converted church (complete with grave yard in the garden :) ) now with a fully facilitated log cabin attached in the back yard. It is so peaceful not just because of position but because of presence, the presence of God. Its a beautiful place. So we arrived and in all honesty I don't remember alot about the beginning of the night...and then we came to prayer. I won't go into everything we prayed because I'm not here to talk about the formula...that's not what this is about...but I can tell you one thing: God came in the room and his angels were in room. I'm not saying this because I saw things (which I did) or because I heard things (which I did) but because I am a different person as a result of that night, I am not the same person. There is a song by Godfrey Birtill that says
'Just one touch from the King changes everything'
and I have always said/sang that and kinda believed it and kinda knew it to be true but following that night I knew it was true...
But I have to honest - I didn't believe it initially-I explained-like some of my other God experiences, to feel incredibly different and be on some weird sort of high, like I was floated on clouds and it was all nice...but it didn't and I woke and went to bed feeling very normal, being tempted by the stuff I had just been 'delivered' from and this disconcerted me abit...I was uneasy myself-I felt different but I also felt very me, very human and as the weekend went on with more prayer and time in the presence of God I became increasingly anxious about going home and this change was just going to stay here and I was going to go home the same as I had so many times before...then a song that came to me on the Saturday morning that we pumped out of the car on the drive of home,Holding Nothing Back-Tim Hughes:
I am chosen, I am free,I am Living for eternity,Free now forever
You picked me up, turned me around, You set my feet on solid ground, Yours now forever
And nothing's gonna hold me back, Nothing's gonna hold me back, Nothing's gonna hold me back
My chains fell off My heart was free,I'm alive to live for you, I'm alive to live for you Amazing Love, how can it be?You give everything for me
You give everything for me
Everything
You washed my sin and shame away
The slate is clean: a brand new day,Free now forever, Now boldly I approach your throne, To claim this crown through Christ my own
Yours now forever...
I'm free to live
Free to give
Free to be
I'm free to love you
And I realised, this is true for me now-This is who I am...I am changed and I had a choice, do I chose to live with the change or do I ignore it? Casting crowns put it in one of their songs
'Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through between the altar and the door?'
But I realised, that's the point-its JESUS that has done the change-its NOT me, its God, HE is the one who has changed me, HE is the one who has set me free, HE is the one who has touched my life. I have had to make a choice to continue to live in that though...so I currently have boundaries to help me including having someone babysit my computer for a while-hence the lack of blogs (just so you know).
I have been utterly broken. I know now there is NOTHING of good in me, except what Christ has done in and through me. He is the one who has cleanse me, set me free. I am by no means the finished article and I know that will not happen until I get to be with my Lord in glory (oh Lord for that day to come) but I know that I am NOT the same person-I still look the same, talk the same, walk the same but I think completely differently. I feel light...that's the best way to describe it. It is like a light has finally been turned on in the last room of the house...the darkness that haunted me is no longer there because the light of Christ has exposed it and for years being blinded by the light-I've now allowed it to shine.
So am I still broken? Yes but, "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise." Psalm 51:7
and Jesus talking about himself as the cornerstone :"Anyone who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; anyone on whom it falls will be crushed.” Luke 20:18
Yes I am still very much broken...but I am allowing God to put me back together bit by bit built on a foundation of Him and only Him.
He is so beautiful and is worth EVERYTHING.
Friday 26 August 2011
broken...
#Honestly I need to be broken,
Honestly I need to fall down
Go ahead and shake my foundations, 'cause honestly I'm figurin' out,
Out of al that I have, all that I need is You
Honestly
'Honestly' Carl Cartee, Anadara Arnold, and Elias Dummer
I remember when I first heard this song, it was on a CD of my brother's (Elias Drummer is a friend) and I remember liking it the first time I heard it...and I really liked it but over the past few weeks its come to have a whole new level of meaning.
Have you ever been broken by God? I mean really
broken...basically utterly wrecked and far from being a thing that God could prevent because it hurts-He is the one bringing it into your life in order that you can have a deeper relationship with Him. It's a brokenness that wrecks you of anything that is in this world, anything that we hold onto tightly, anything that we can build our identification and security on other than Jesus. In my life, right now, I believe I am in a season of brokenness. I think it happens in different ways for different people-for some there is a build up and then a few days where its like BANG and they are broken like breaking a window-One moment...but for me, its not like that -because thats the grace of God, our brokenness is tailored to us. God says in 1 corthians that he will never take us beyond what we can endure so in our brokenness, he doesn't break us so we can't be repaired.He breaks us in order to rebuild in His image. My breaking has been abit more like lego tower-over time, piece by piece He has been breaking things off me and in me and every so often its like He breaks the final pieces off the where they are stuck, the foundation I had built them on. When Paul writes that it is not longer I who live but Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20) Paul says I have been crucified with Christ...no I don't know what you know about crucifixion or if you have seen 'Passion of the Christ' but I think when someone is crucified they are indeed broken.
But Christ has died so we don't have to right?Physically speaking, yes, but I have a choice in dying daily and for a lot of my christian life I have said it but not lived it out and we build our foundation on so many other things other than Christ.
Jesus never promised that it would be comfortable. The parable of the wise and foolish man building their houses is a sunday school favourite but it isn't any less true, our lives need to be built on the foundation of Christ - that he is the core of everything. I remember when my Dad was basically rebuilding our house and the foundation that had to be laid were HUGE and others that had to be broken-it took a lot of work to back them down and lay new ones and this is what it is like with our lives...we need to kill/destroy the old ones and have Jesus lay down new ones of Him and His live and kingdom. Coming to the point of brokenness is like standing on the edge of the cliff-God will always give you a choice-you can step off the cliff and embrace the brokenness or you can step back and stay in comfort but not moving forward with Christ.But be warned...
The breaking is PAINFUL. For me it has meant confession of my darkest secrets not only to some of my closest friends but also those who I respect the most in Christ. It has meant admitting to myself who I really am. It has meant a lot of tears and a lot of shouting and screaming. But it doesn't happen until you are ready for it - because of God's grace. My beautiful friend/sister in Christ Rosie explained it this way, its like a spot-you can't squeeze it until its ready to be squeezed otherwise it becomes more painful!(wise girl) For months I've been seeing more and more nothing works without Christ, any system that I have built or tried to build for myself...whether its about how I feel about things or how I cope with things-without Christ its all rubbish...nothing works. I have had to be wreaked of everything else and ask Christ to break it.
I don't believe its over either, I believe I'm still in the middle. There's still more healing, more tears, more screaming, more ministry that needs to occur but I know God will bring me through, an utterly rebuilt broken vessel that can shine for Him as more of Him can be seen brighter than before.That'swhy I need to be broken..."'cause out of all that I have, All that I need is You, honestly."
No challenge today...this is my journey...so here's my prayer for you, May you see Christ's beauty shine through your brokenness and may God by his grace lead you to a place where you know stepping off the cliff to brokenness is the only best move possible.
Wednesday 10 August 2011
The me that He died for...
(I WILL get back to the Beatitudes soon...promise)
So this morning I came to Bible time/quiet time/God time - whatever name you give it, feeling low...it seems that over the past few days I've had, what seems, a heighten awareness of my sinfulness.This, I do understand, can be seen as a glorious blessing-when God reveals things in order that He can mould us into His likeness, but currently in my mind, it makes me sad to see how far I still have to go-how far I am from being like my Saviour...
But as I read my Bible this morning I was reminded of a verse that I have read a thousand times before:
And it hit me like a lightening bolt...Whilst I look at my life at the moment and can be upset and wonder how can God love me the way I am? will He complete what He started? Is He going to leave me this way because I've stuffed up too many times? This verse tells me something amazing...Jesus didn't die for me the way that I am now, this lass that by His Holy Spirit is being transformed more and more into Christ's likeness, Jesus died for me when I was in my very worst state that I could be in - whilst I was STILL a sinner, with all my worst traits present and still a slave to sin (Romans 6, John 8:34). The implication of the word sinner in this verse isn't someone, like me, who has been saved but still sins, no - the indication is that it is us whist we still had their back turned towards God (or anyone who has their backs still turned towards God) - whilst we were in the very worst state we could be in...Christ died for us THEN, when we were at our, when I was at my very worst. THAT'S how much He loves us.
I then remembered another verse:
Christ died for the very worst of me because He could see the very best of me that I was going to become.
Thank you Jesus...That's how amazing grace is...
A little final thought - if God demonstrates His love dying whilst people are still sinners-at their very worst, that means NO ONE is beyond grace - EVERYONE needs Jesus and Jesus dying on the cross is powerful enough to save ANYONE, even in their very worst state...so why don't we tell anyone and everyone??
So this morning I came to Bible time/quiet time/God time - whatever name you give it, feeling low...it seems that over the past few days I've had, what seems, a heighten awareness of my sinfulness.This, I do understand, can be seen as a glorious blessing-when God reveals things in order that He can mould us into His likeness, but currently in my mind, it makes me sad to see how far I still have to go-how far I am from being like my Saviour...
But as I read my Bible this morning I was reminded of a verse that I have read a thousand times before:
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
And it hit me like a lightening bolt...Whilst I look at my life at the moment and can be upset and wonder how can God love me the way I am? will He complete what He started? Is He going to leave me this way because I've stuffed up too many times? This verse tells me something amazing...Jesus didn't die for me the way that I am now, this lass that by His Holy Spirit is being transformed more and more into Christ's likeness, Jesus died for me when I was in my very worst state that I could be in - whilst I was STILL a sinner, with all my worst traits present and still a slave to sin (Romans 6, John 8:34). The implication of the word sinner in this verse isn't someone, like me, who has been saved but still sins, no - the indication is that it is us whist we still had their back turned towards God (or anyone who has their backs still turned towards God) - whilst we were in the very worst state we could be in...Christ died for us THEN, when we were at our, when I was at my very worst. THAT'S how much He loves us.
I then remembered another verse:
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.Phil 1:6I can see the change that the Holy Spirit has brought into my life. Coming from the point of where I was when He died for me to now which, by His Holy spirit, He is transforming me to become more like Him.This is a good work and because of HIS love and HIS work-its all Him, its ALL grace-this gives me confidence to know He has not finished with me yet and He will carry on until, on that day when He returns (the day of Christ Jesus) and I will see Him and be utterly transformed and be with Him forever.
Christ died for the very worst of me because He could see the very best of me that I was going to become.
Thank you Jesus...That's how amazing grace is...
A little final thought - if God demonstrates His love dying whilst people are still sinners-at their very worst, that means NO ONE is beyond grace - EVERYONE needs Jesus and Jesus dying on the cross is powerful enough to save ANYONE, even in their very worst state...so why don't we tell anyone and everyone??
Monday 1 August 2011
Yes its been a while...and its another break from Beatitudes...question-what you doing??
Well, I apologise now-but this is going to waffle...I suppose I'm using this blog post as a way of cleaning out some of the thoughts in my head...Apologises for the lack of writing the past few weeks, work gets busy, life gets busy and things get pushed to the side lines-you wouldn't believe it when I only work 2 days a week would you??
Anyways...
So my 27th birthday is coming up this week and I find myself with my head feeling very very FULL...so many things are RAMMED in here at the moment which makes it actually quite like...well lets just say I understand how people can go mad, there are so many decisions that I could make-so many of friends are making life-alternating changes at the mo like getting married, having more babies, further studying, buying houses, starting new jobs in new places, pursuing new things, moving to new places and NOTHING of such 'progress' is happening in my life...feels like I'm in a crowd and everything is moving around me and there are responsibilities of manager a centre of a christian charity and working/being in a church with many things going on and other stuff which doesn't need to shared on the net-but lets just say-its in my head...I think I realised how it is possible for mental illness to become such a common thing...when you are struggling to think-it messes everything up!
So yeah...I have all this going round my head-ready to scream at any moment and asking some good conversations with brothers and sisters in Christ I finally come to pray (YES, before you say it...I should have done that first-but hey I'm not exactly thinking straight).During this week on camp we've been thinking about 'the world we all want' and looking forward to heaven and as I came and prayed and read my Bible with all these things going round my head...I came to these scriptures,
'Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.' Col 3:16-17
I'm not ashamed to say I had a little cry...I realise that I had become such a tight-rope walker in my relationship with God. We need to commit the decision about our life in prayer (maybe not all-like what to have for lunch...but hey-feel free to discuss!)but if we looking to follow his rule, listening to him and honouring him with our lives then actually-we could do anything...because ANYTHING we do should be for his Glory. Does that make sense?? For me, that brought such a release. In verse 16 actually gives the main focus of life anyway-to have the message of Christ dwelling in us richly, in that fellowship where we can teach and admonish each other - i.e. the church...
I allow my head to become so full of everything when I take my eyes off Christ but when we focus on Him, it all makes so much sense. He has actually told us that this is not to be our focus anyways...our life-what we do...
One of my fav people on the planet - Jenny Smithson shared her testimony at camp this year (which never fails to make me cry) about her mother going to be with her Saviour after dying in this world of cancer and she read from C.S. Lewis's book the Last Battle, the final extract being...
'"There wasa real railway accident," said Aslan softly."Your father and mother and all of you are - as you used to call it in the Shadowlands - dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."
And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can mostly truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: not at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever:...'The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S.Lewis page 767
Jesus constantly preached about the Kingdom of God being here - He came to bring to bring the Kingdom...as we pray 'On earth as it is in heaven' but NOTHING we do on this earth, even miracles and the signs and wonders are not going to compare with the beauty, majesty and magnificence of heaven when Jesus returns to claim His bride to be with Him...this IS only the title page and cover.
Lord I pray that whatever I do would be for your Glory, to see your full gospel proclaimed and that the way I live the cover and title page of the story would be so full of You that they will want to enter into the full story of your good news of eternity...
Anyways...
So my 27th birthday is coming up this week and I find myself with my head feeling very very FULL...so many things are RAMMED in here at the moment which makes it actually quite like...well lets just say I understand how people can go mad, there are so many decisions that I could make-so many of friends are making life-alternating changes at the mo like getting married, having more babies, further studying, buying houses, starting new jobs in new places, pursuing new things, moving to new places and NOTHING of such 'progress' is happening in my life...feels like I'm in a crowd and everything is moving around me and there are responsibilities of manager a centre of a christian charity and working/being in a church with many things going on and other stuff which doesn't need to shared on the net-but lets just say-its in my head...I think I realised how it is possible for mental illness to become such a common thing...when you are struggling to think-it messes everything up!
So yeah...I have all this going round my head-ready to scream at any moment and asking some good conversations with brothers and sisters in Christ I finally come to pray (YES, before you say it...I should have done that first-but hey I'm not exactly thinking straight).During this week on camp we've been thinking about 'the world we all want' and looking forward to heaven and as I came and prayed and read my Bible with all these things going round my head...I came to these scriptures,
'Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.' Col 3:16-17
I'm not ashamed to say I had a little cry...I realise that I had become such a tight-rope walker in my relationship with God. We need to commit the decision about our life in prayer (maybe not all-like what to have for lunch...but hey-feel free to discuss!)but if we looking to follow his rule, listening to him and honouring him with our lives then actually-we could do anything...because ANYTHING we do should be for his Glory. Does that make sense?? For me, that brought such a release. In verse 16 actually gives the main focus of life anyway-to have the message of Christ dwelling in us richly, in that fellowship where we can teach and admonish each other - i.e. the church...
I allow my head to become so full of everything when I take my eyes off Christ but when we focus on Him, it all makes so much sense. He has actually told us that this is not to be our focus anyways...our life-what we do...
One of my fav people on the planet - Jenny Smithson shared her testimony at camp this year (which never fails to make me cry) about her mother going to be with her Saviour after dying in this world of cancer and she read from C.S. Lewis's book the Last Battle, the final extract being...
'"There wasa real railway accident," said Aslan softly."Your father and mother and all of you are - as you used to call it in the Shadowlands - dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."
And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can mostly truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: not at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever:...'The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S.Lewis page 767
Jesus constantly preached about the Kingdom of God being here - He came to bring to bring the Kingdom...as we pray 'On earth as it is in heaven' but NOTHING we do on this earth, even miracles and the signs and wonders are not going to compare with the beauty, majesty and magnificence of heaven when Jesus returns to claim His bride to be with Him...this IS only the title page and cover.
Lord I pray that whatever I do would be for your Glory, to see your full gospel proclaimed and that the way I live the cover and title page of the story would be so full of You that they will want to enter into the full story of your good news of eternity...
Monday 20 June 2011
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled. Matt 5:6
To me-this verse is the one out of the Beatitudes that actually makes the most sense.I understand the principle, but with that comes a problem...if I do understand what it means - then why don't I live it out??
But what does it truly mean to hunger and thirst? I do not believe that in some ways in the 'west' we truly understand this concept. I think the closest we come to it is another discipline that God has given us in fasting. I've recently felt prompted to make fasting a regular part of my life and walk with God. So I decided to dive in head off (after making far too many excuses). I tried a week long fast of just liquid, straight off, cold turkey...
I would not recommend this course of action to ANYONE and I will be honest and say I wasn't that successful BUT I did not have a whole meal for the whole week (does saying that mean I lose my reward in heaven??anywho...)But through the experience I did learn about hunger. When I start thought I would have a really loud groaning stomach and it would be lower part of my body that would really be suffering, with a need to just push through that. But that did not happen. Instead I started to feel quite dizzy and light headed. By Tuesday morning I felt the onset of a migraine and general felt just very weak...it hadn't struck me in the way I thought it would. I believe it can be like that for us with hunger and thirst for righteousness, because I don't know about you but I am VERY good at beating myself up. At thinking I am not good enough and that I'm not hitting the mark-especially with God. So when I read hunger and thirst for righteousness I was like 'man, I don't at all...sometimes I don't even want righteousness' and whilst that is true some of time I believe as follows of Christ that we do - to one degree or another-but we may not realise it. For example are you finding that before you started following Jesus there were things that you used to do and enjoy it but now...after the years you've gone you don't enjoy it and you would rather be doing something else with your time? An example for me to exaggerating (an acceptable form of lying but it is still lying) and I used to do that all the time to make my stories sound better. But now, I don't enjoy it and I find myself correcting myself if its not the case. Whilst I may not have seen this before-this is hungering for righteousness but I'm wanting my life to be clean, like Christ, righteousness.
Righteousness is everything that Christ is. The Culture of The Kingdom by Billy Humphries puts part of this section beautifully so I will let it do the talking now...
True hunger for righteousness is not satisfied by going a little deeper theologically or slightly cleaning up one's character. Hungering for righteousness is desiring to be possessed by holiness. Holiness is beautiful. It is the fire of God burning with the human soul...The manifestation of holiness is beauty upon you and pleasure within you. This manifestation is also known as righteousness.
Let me illustrate this concept...Anyone who has ever worn a beautiful, expensive piece of jewelry can attest to the fact that, somehow, the piece makes you feel more beautiful...Imagine such a piece of jewellery is a gift to you from your parents or spouse. You'd carry a sense of beauty upon you and within you when wearing it. Inside, your heart would be warmed with pleasure because of the extravagant gift and it would cause you to be drawn to the giver. You are beautified on the outside and filled with pleasure inside. This is what righteousness does in your life. p 33-34.
Sorry if the quote is abit long but I would not have been able to put the point any better myself!!
So be encouraged, the desire for righteousness-even when you do not realise it, it is there. But let it become your life pursuit and, if we do, we receive a promise-we WILL be filled.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...
Tuesday 14 June 2011
Here we go again...Blessed are the meek...
So we are started again with our journey in the beatitudes.
Meekness isn't a quality that is particularly popular these days. A few years ago there was even a poster with Che Guevara type picture of Jesus saying 'Meek and Mild, I don't think so.' Did you see it? At the time I actually quite liked the picture - the sentiment of it but looking now - its wrong because Jesus was meek, he personified everything that is in the beatitudes.
So what does it mean to be meek? The dictionary says meek =
But I don't think any of these do the Word justice. I heard a sermon that said that meekness when actually translated from the Greek actually meant 'appropriate emotional response.' I think this is actually a very enlightening and helps the word make a lot more sense in the context of the passage. Then when we look at the life of Jesus, again it makes sense with events such as turning over the tables in the temple and weeping over Jerusalem and talking to the women at the well in the midday sun. So the question must be asked of us - when I'm longing to become more like Christ, do we always response appropriately? Do I weep over things that break God's heart or become enraged and the things that anger my King?
For they will inherit the earth...now I don't know what your interpretation of the 'end times' as they often called-basically the bit of time before Christ returns to the earth. This is the time in which we currently live in. We are told that there will be a new heaven and a new earth. Are we to inherit this earth? Perhaps. But to be honest I have always been scared about talking about the end times but I know these can't be ignored...but I feel at this moment, without previous study and prayer for me to comment on what I think will happen. To be honest-does it matter what I think? Jesus has told us we will not know the time but we are to be expected and live each day with the joy and fervency as if it could be today...
Blessed are the meek...
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matt 5:5
Meekness isn't a quality that is particularly popular these days. A few years ago there was even a poster with Che Guevara type picture of Jesus saying 'Meek and Mild, I don't think so.' Did you see it? At the time I actually quite liked the picture - the sentiment of it but looking now - its wrong because Jesus was meek, he personified everything that is in the beatitudes.
So what does it mean to be meek? The dictionary says meek =
adjective, -er, -est.
1.humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others.
2.overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame.
3.Obsolete . gentle; kind.
But I don't think any of these do the Word justice. I heard a sermon that said that meekness when actually translated from the Greek actually meant 'appropriate emotional response.' I think this is actually a very enlightening and helps the word make a lot more sense in the context of the passage. Then when we look at the life of Jesus, again it makes sense with events such as turning over the tables in the temple and weeping over Jerusalem and talking to the women at the well in the midday sun. So the question must be asked of us - when I'm longing to become more like Christ, do we always response appropriately? Do I weep over things that break God's heart or become enraged and the things that anger my King?
For they will inherit the earth...now I don't know what your interpretation of the 'end times' as they often called-basically the bit of time before Christ returns to the earth. This is the time in which we currently live in. We are told that there will be a new heaven and a new earth. Are we to inherit this earth? Perhaps. But to be honest I have always been scared about talking about the end times but I know these can't be ignored...but I feel at this moment, without previous study and prayer for me to comment on what I think will happen. To be honest-does it matter what I think? Jesus has told us we will not know the time but we are to be expected and live each day with the joy and fervency as if it could be today...
Blessed are the meek...
Wednesday 25 May 2011
Nearly setting off again-just a thought on encouragement...
As the title says-we're not setting off yet back to the Beatitudes but I just wanted to give a little thought on encouragement.
On Sunday I ran in the Edinburgh Marathon festival as part of a relay team to raise money for CAP (you can still sponsor me at www.justgiving.com/Hannah-Pamplin0 ). Whilst I was running the shortest leg-4.7 miles this was a massive undertaking for me as I developed a dislike for running at school...Anyway...I was staying with Flick and Drumm (my best friend from University and her husband) and meet up with my fellow relay team mates at various points. Something really struck me during the weekend that I wanted to share with you all.
As I ran my leg of the relay I ran with a lady called Lisa who was lovely. I don't normally run with anyone but it was great to have someone there. Being on the final leg it also meant that there was a lot of crowds along the way. This leg was hard, there was a lot of strong winds that were blowing right into your face which meant you had to run twice as hard to go the same distance...I'm not ashamed to tell you-it was tough. But when I saw the finish line-I just went for it. When I came to the end I had managed to do my leg in 45 minutes, in training I had run it in an hour. I was so so happy and we had photos with the rest of the team and we were to celebrate how much we had raised.
But what did I learn through this - as I walked through the chaotic crowds at the end the scripture came to mind
We are surrounded by a group of people who have gone before us , who have run the race and now they are cheering us on...to keep going. I know that I only ran the time I did because I had the people around me spurring me on. Yes, I had to put in the training and we need to put in time in the 'quiet place' to be with God as HE is the ultimate in encourager but He calls us to encourage others...it is one of the gifts that he gives us.
As I was running there was a lady called Fiona running near me-the reason I know this is because when people who cheering they would shout things like, 'come on fiona' and I thought Wow-I wish I had my name on my shirt-to receive that personal encouragement. I stayed with my best friend university as I said and to be able to spend the weekend with them was great. Drummond ran the whole marathon (which he managed to do in 32 mins better than his PB-AMAZING) but he was so encouraging to me about how I had run-I couldn't believe it, I ran like a 5th of what he had done yet he encouraged me and through that and the texts and money that people sponsored putting faith in me - I'm contemplating doing a 10k run later this year. Whilst encouragement is amazing when we read the letters Paul and others wrote, they often spoke of the personal encouragement the recipients gave like in Philemon 1:7
I realised again on Sunday how important encouragement is...let's not hold back. An inspirational friend of mine called Anne Young once put on her status update..."To encourage means "to add courage to" When we encourage someone, we add strength to them so that they can face the challenges they are coming up against. I'm ready to add courage to those who need it" That's what it is all about...
On Sunday I ran in the Edinburgh Marathon festival as part of a relay team to raise money for CAP (you can still sponsor me at www.justgiving.com/Hannah-Pamplin0 ). Whilst I was running the shortest leg-4.7 miles this was a massive undertaking for me as I developed a dislike for running at school...Anyway...I was staying with Flick and Drumm (my best friend from University and her husband) and meet up with my fellow relay team mates at various points. Something really struck me during the weekend that I wanted to share with you all.
As I ran my leg of the relay I ran with a lady called Lisa who was lovely. I don't normally run with anyone but it was great to have someone there. Being on the final leg it also meant that there was a lot of crowds along the way. This leg was hard, there was a lot of strong winds that were blowing right into your face which meant you had to run twice as hard to go the same distance...I'm not ashamed to tell you-it was tough. But when I saw the finish line-I just went for it. When I came to the end I had managed to do my leg in 45 minutes, in training I had run it in an hour. I was so so happy and we had photos with the rest of the team and we were to celebrate how much we had raised.
But what did I learn through this - as I walked through the chaotic crowds at the end the scripture came to mind
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, Hebrews 12:1
We are surrounded by a group of people who have gone before us , who have run the race and now they are cheering us on...to keep going. I know that I only ran the time I did because I had the people around me spurring me on. Yes, I had to put in the training and we need to put in time in the 'quiet place' to be with God as HE is the ultimate in encourager but He calls us to encourage others...it is one of the gifts that he gives us.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12:6-8Whilst it may be that some are more gifted than others at encouragement I do firmly believe that these are ALL things we are called to do by God even when it is not our gifting. You have no idea what a different your encouragement is making.
As I was running there was a lady called Fiona running near me-the reason I know this is because when people who cheering they would shout things like, 'come on fiona' and I thought Wow-I wish I had my name on my shirt-to receive that personal encouragement. I stayed with my best friend university as I said and to be able to spend the weekend with them was great. Drummond ran the whole marathon (which he managed to do in 32 mins better than his PB-AMAZING) but he was so encouraging to me about how I had run-I couldn't believe it, I ran like a 5th of what he had done yet he encouraged me and through that and the texts and money that people sponsored putting faith in me - I'm contemplating doing a 10k run later this year. Whilst encouragement is amazing when we read the letters Paul and others wrote, they often spoke of the personal encouragement the recipients gave like in Philemon 1:7
Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
I realised again on Sunday how important encouragement is...let's not hold back. An inspirational friend of mine called Anne Young once put on her status update..."To encourage means "to add courage to" When we encourage someone, we add strength to them so that they can face the challenges they are coming up against. I'm ready to add courage to those who need it" That's what it is all about...
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Little pause in the journery...ponderings about 'church'
So we're going to have a little pit stop in the journey through beatitudes and Sermon and the Mount as I've been thinking about a few other things as well as Matt 5-7. I ask that you'll forgive me as this isn't maybe as structured or coherent as usual...I've just decided to write as I think, I hope that's ok.
Over the past few weeks and one of those things I've been thinking is 'church'. What is church, what it means to be part of church and what should the church look like??
Over the weekend I had the chance to go over to Northern Ireland to visit one of my favourite families having agreed to go other a do a talk on CAP at a church over there. I am not going to mention the name of the church or denomination as this blog isn't about victimising or black listing any group or church. During the weekend I was a 2 different services as the church I was speaking about CAP at took place on Saturday and during the previous week I had the opportunity to go to evangelistic speaker training-in the same building as a church that takes in Bradford and there was art work on the walls from one of their interest groups-some absolutely stunning and the rest-simply beautiful.
But when I look in the Bible-apart from the instructions of the letters to the churches which are to specific churches at a specific time, there's not a lot of description really apart from in Acts 2 and Acts 4...
I count it a great privilege to be brought by parents who know the Lord and who took my to church every Sunday but I think through that I have allowed this to blinkered my view of what church is and how it should operate and how it should grow and work together. Since coming to uni my preconceptions have been ripped apart and I find myself asking - why should church be the way I think it is? The truth is, it doesn't need to be - its what God wants it to be. I believe I have belittled God so often thinking His family, His body had to be a certain way...all you have to do is look at your friends physic and see-God makes bodies in all shapes and sizes. The church is Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. That's Colossions 1:24.
I do know that in scriptures like 1 Cor 12 that give instructions about service and also about the 5-fold ministry in church but nothing says it has to be Sunday morning, between 10-12, all sitting in rows etc etc...
I was talking with my friend Ed in Bradford and I came out with this phrase and I realise that this is conclusion that I have come to about church (think I told him that it's what I concluded a while ago but actually it came out my mouth as we spoke and realised then it's what I realise...didn't mean to lie Ed-sorry) I realised that every single church should be unique, some may look incredibly similar to one another but because everyone is unique, therefore uniqueness should characterise the church because all these unique bodies are coming together to make one-none will look alike. So why for so so many years have we tried to reproduce what has happened else where?
I think I've realised that a lot of things that I have looked at and said 'that's church' hasn't been - its been a club and institution and things where I've looked at and not thought it was church, didn't think it was anything has actually been church-church how God intended it to be.
From what I know church is called to establish the Kingdom of God/Kingdom of heaven here on earth. I think there is another reason why the scriptures in Acts doesn't mention about service or structures particularly is because the church is the people-its all the individuals within it that make it.
The church means an ending of an individual person because you become part of a body - the body of Christ.
Oh Lord, would you break off our blinkers of our hearts and minds about what your church is, what your body is. Father God - teach us what your church is like, how you want your body to be.
I don't have a neat conclusion for today's blog...these are just the spilling of my mind about what I'm thinking about-see what you think-leave a comment...email me...lets learn together. Christ died so that the church could be His body in this world,the church is His plan A...I want to see it.
Over the past few weeks and one of those things I've been thinking is 'church'. What is church, what it means to be part of church and what should the church look like??
Over the weekend I had the chance to go over to Northern Ireland to visit one of my favourite families having agreed to go other a do a talk on CAP at a church over there. I am not going to mention the name of the church or denomination as this blog isn't about victimising or black listing any group or church. During the weekend I was a 2 different services as the church I was speaking about CAP at took place on Saturday and during the previous week I had the opportunity to go to evangelistic speaker training-in the same building as a church that takes in Bradford and there was art work on the walls from one of their interest groups-some absolutely stunning and the rest-simply beautiful.
But when I look in the Bible-apart from the instructions of the letters to the churches which are to specific churches at a specific time, there's not a lot of description really apart from in Acts 2 and Acts 4...
Acts 2 42-47 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Acts 4 32-34 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.
These are descriptions of the first churches. There is nothing in these about a church building-it says they meet in the temple courts but had nothing claiming as their own, an order of service-they had teaching but nothing of a structure of how that was done or a specific time to be together...it just said every day.
I count it a great privilege to be brought by parents who know the Lord and who took my to church every Sunday but I think through that I have allowed this to blinkered my view of what church is and how it should operate and how it should grow and work together. Since coming to uni my preconceptions have been ripped apart and I find myself asking - why should church be the way I think it is? The truth is, it doesn't need to be - its what God wants it to be. I believe I have belittled God so often thinking His family, His body had to be a certain way...all you have to do is look at your friends physic and see-God makes bodies in all shapes and sizes. The church is Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. That's Colossions 1:24.
I do know that in scriptures like 1 Cor 12 that give instructions about service and also about the 5-fold ministry in church but nothing says it has to be Sunday morning, between 10-12, all sitting in rows etc etc...
I was talking with my friend Ed in Bradford and I came out with this phrase and I realise that this is conclusion that I have come to about church (think I told him that it's what I concluded a while ago but actually it came out my mouth as we spoke and realised then it's what I realise...didn't mean to lie Ed-sorry) I realised that every single church should be unique, some may look incredibly similar to one another but because everyone is unique, therefore uniqueness should characterise the church because all these unique bodies are coming together to make one-none will look alike. So why for so so many years have we tried to reproduce what has happened else where?
I think I've realised that a lot of things that I have looked at and said 'that's church' hasn't been - its been a club and institution and things where I've looked at and not thought it was church, didn't think it was anything has actually been church-church how God intended it to be.
From what I know church is called to establish the Kingdom of God/Kingdom of heaven here on earth. I think there is another reason why the scriptures in Acts doesn't mention about service or structures particularly is because the church is the people-its all the individuals within it that make it.
The church means an ending of an individual person because you become part of a body - the body of Christ.
Oh Lord, would you break off our blinkers of our hearts and minds about what your church is, what your body is. Father God - teach us what your church is like, how you want your body to be.
I don't have a neat conclusion for today's blog...these are just the spilling of my mind about what I'm thinking about-see what you think-leave a comment...email me...lets learn together. Christ died so that the church could be His body in this world,the church is His plan A...I want to see it.
Thursday 5 May 2011
Blessed are those who mourn...
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.Matt 5:4
As we take our next step of the journey through the beatitudes we come to a verse which-quite frankly a few years ago I would have told you to stuff it where the sun doesn't shine...to put it bluntly. As you will know from the blog, my bro went to be with the Lord 13 years ago and in those years following this death the reality of mourning was something I was struggling to cope with but what an amazing joy we can receive from this passage-that for those of us who know and love the Lord Jesus-He is our comforter HE is our strength and will see us through-we WILL be comforted.
However when you look through the beatitudes there is a much deeper spiritual element to all those who are 'blessed' so I'm not entirely sure that Jesus is simply talking about those who have someone die...that this kinda out context-when you read the passage as a whole. In Matthew 9:14-15 it says
Then John’s disciples came and asked him, “How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?”
Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.
Jesus, the bridegroom at this point was still with them but when he had gone there was a space for mourning his departure, for mourning the lack of the presence of God in their lives as they had known Him before-right there with them. I believe this is the kind of spiritual mourning that Jesus is actually addressing here. We are not as close to Jesus as we could be...no matter how long we pray or spend time reading the Bible we are not going to be as close to Jesus as we will be one day in glory and there is (or should be) a deep, desperate longing in our hearts for that day so whilst we are given fullness of joy in His presence (psalm 116) I believe there is room for grief and mourning for the day when we will see Him and the fact we are not there yet! But what a promise...as we mourn for that separation we are promised we WILL be comforted.
It says in proverbs-hope deferred makes the heart sink but a longing fulfilled is a well spring of life. When we see Christ there will be a well spring of life that will come from within us because we will no longer be mourning because we shall see Christ face to face.
THAT'S why is it blessed are those who mourn...for the one who mourns the deepest here on earth will be the one who receives the greatest joy when he mourning is healed through seeing Jesus.
Blessed are those who mourn...
Wednesday 27 April 2011
'Blessed are the poor in spirit...'
'Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven' Matthew 5:3
I have to be honest here, when I came to this verse despite the number of years I read this I actually TOTALLY didn't understand what it meant..."Poor in spirit?what, the Holy Spirit??surely not-we are blessed with the Holy Spirit-how can we be poor in spirit??Does it mean people who don't have the Holy Spirit but then how are they called blessed?" So what on earth does it mean?? From what I've been listening and reading (in particular reading 'The culture of The Kingdom' by Billy Humphries-you may be hearing a lot from that) I've realised it's much more about your realisation of being poor. In John 15:5 Jesus says,
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.Without Jesus we are spiritually bankrupt. In our flesh we are in spiritual poverty, we are nothing without God.
But Jesus says that this is a blessed place to be...what??I'm thinking, 'are you serious Jesus?' Working as a debt counsellor I spend all my time telling people that they need to get out of poverty and now I've been told to embrace poverty...
But as I have prayed and spent more time with God I have begun to discover how spiritually poor I actually am without my Saviour. To be spiritually poor is to truly be blessed because you realise how much you need God than anything else in your life.
We see again how upside down this kingdom actually is to what our world has become...the more we receive of God and His Spirit, the more we see how spiritually poor we are. The deeper into spiritual poverty we sink...the more blessed we become...
Blessed are the poor in spirit...
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Lets begin a journey together...'blessed'
Do you ever get the feeling that God is trying to get something through to you?? It's like wherever you turn a particular subject or topic or person is mentioned and it gets to the point where you cry, 'Ok God I get it...what do you want to teach me??' Well God's been trying to get my attention focused on the Matthew 5-7 or as it is commanly called The Sermon on the Mount. It seemed everywhere I listened and read and people I spoke to, it would come up.
This is Jesus's first ever 'sermon', lengthy teaching that is recorded in Bible-in Matt 4 it says Jesus began to teach but this is first sermon where its written to a full extent. So after 30years of living and preparation and time with the Father-I believe we should take this message very seriously. Billy Humphrey says in his book, 'The culture of The Kingdom'page 11- 12
So I was wondering if you wanted to take a journey with me?A journey to learn the value systems of the kingdom of God which, if we call ourselves disciples of Christ, we are now part of...
The first thing that Jesus in this message is 'blessed'.What a beautiful Saviour. He is about to tell about the life that is offered in the Kingdom and yet from the first word we are told 'if you live out what I am about to tell you...You will be blessed.' wow. There is a danger here tho. We might think that 'blessing' means abundancey of possessions or easy times or constant smooth running of everything in our lives. Jesus never told us that's what blessing means...It can include that but if we think that is that exclusively then we are in danger of missing it.The true blessing is knowing and become more intimate with Jesus. That is a truly 'blessed' life.
So are you coming with me? Are you ready or prepared to become a 'blessed' one?
You ready?Here we go...
This is Jesus's first ever 'sermon', lengthy teaching that is recorded in Bible-in Matt 4 it says Jesus began to teach but this is first sermon where its written to a full extent. So after 30years of living and preparation and time with the Father-I believe we should take this message very seriously. Billy Humphrey says in his book, 'The culture of The Kingdom'page 11- 12
"In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was establishing the value system for all who would be citizens of His kingdom. Some today believe the Sermon on the Mount is a 'high bar' of Christianity not attainable in 'real life.' They believe it simply serves as a standard of conviction for us. Yet the truth is that it is intended to be the norm for Christian living. The principles of the Sermon on the Mount are not simply good ideas or something to try for a season. They are the prescribed lifestyle for all who are subjects of the kingdom of God.Jesus' intent for expressing the values of His Kingdom was to set in place the culture for all believers should not only embrace with their minds as truth, but also walk out in their daily lives."
So I was wondering if you wanted to take a journey with me?A journey to learn the value systems of the kingdom of God which, if we call ourselves disciples of Christ, we are now part of...
The first thing that Jesus in this message is 'blessed'.What a beautiful Saviour. He is about to tell about the life that is offered in the Kingdom and yet from the first word we are told 'if you live out what I am about to tell you...You will be blessed.' wow. There is a danger here tho. We might think that 'blessing' means abundancey of possessions or easy times or constant smooth running of everything in our lives. Jesus never told us that's what blessing means...It can include that but if we think that is that exclusively then we are in danger of missing it.The true blessing is knowing and become more intimate with Jesus. That is a truly 'blessed' life.
So are you coming with me? Are you ready or prepared to become a 'blessed' one?
You ready?Here we go...
Saturday 16 April 2011
The danger of writing a blog...
I've realised this week something quite profound...writing a blog like this is a very dangerous thing. What do I mean by that? Well, when I share on my blog about things that God has been teaching me, the enemy also reads it and its like he goes, 'you've think you've arrived in this area-let's test that shall we??'
Since writing about our freedom from sin, this week I have allowed-well have bond myself up more than I have for along long time. Allowing the shackles to snap shut, thinking it was fine. It's not. I have been brought with a price and I realised that is why the WHOLE verse is important.I shared Gal 5:1,
We are free...we ARE free but God knows and He knew that we would be tempted to be burdened again that is why the 2nd half was written...don't let it happen!!
The Bible says that the enemy is prowling around like a lion ready to devour...but actually do you see the verse-it is not say the enemy will come and attack (but he will) but it says Stand firm...its a comment for the reading. We may not be able to stop the enemy attaching but we can stand against him. But praise God we have the Holy Spirit to give us the strength to stand.
So be aware that sometimes...writing can be a dangerous thing, speaking can be a dangerous thing, sharing can be a dangerous thing...
Stand firm...
Since writing about our freedom from sin, this week I have allowed-well have bond myself up more than I have for along long time. Allowing the shackles to snap shut, thinking it was fine. It's not. I have been brought with a price and I realised that is why the WHOLE verse is important.I shared Gal 5:1,
'It is for freedom for Christ has set us free....'but the 2nd half is crucial...
'...Stand firm, therefore, and do not let yourselves be yoked again with the burden of slavery.'
We are free...we ARE free but God knows and He knew that we would be tempted to be burdened again that is why the 2nd half was written...don't let it happen!!
The Bible says that the enemy is prowling around like a lion ready to devour...but actually do you see the verse-it is not say the enemy will come and attack (but he will) but it says Stand firm...its a comment for the reading. We may not be able to stop the enemy attaching but we can stand against him. But praise God we have the Holy Spirit to give us the strength to stand.
So be aware that sometimes...writing can be a dangerous thing, speaking can be a dangerous thing, sharing can be a dangerous thing...
Stand firm...
Tuesday 5 April 2011
This is how it feels to be feel...
This week I've been thinking about freedom. It says in Galatians 5:1
It stuck me, I think for the first time, that this is a present tense...it IS for freedom. I don't know about you but when I have heard that verse I would often hear it WAS for freedom...but its about having freedom presently-Now.
You may not be like me...and Praise God for that but me, being honest with you here - i don't always feel free-I feel bound up and when I sin, its not that I have deliberately chosen to in my mind, its like an impulse that I can not shake. Paul's puts it brilliantly in Romans 7:15
But is quite clear - We are free but that freedom is a choice...look again at the 2nd half of Galatains 5:1 ...'Stand firm and do not let yourselves be burdened again...' We have a choice in whether we put the chains back on or not. Each time we sin its like we voluntarily put the shackles back on but then I realised a follower of Christ I am free, the shackles are in my mind...the blood of Christ not only unlocked them, it desecrated them so they have no power or substance any more, unless we allow ourselves to be bound. It is OUR choice, as followers of Christ we are free...
In my gospel choir we had the opportunity, as one of old soloists was back, to sing one of the songs he sings which is called This is How it Feels to Be Free and it hit be (as I had been thinking about freedom) that although this song is designed for non-Christians its so important to take the truth as we walk with Christ, I'll finish my post with the lyrics of the song, originally by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (copyright)
'It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.'
It stuck me, I think for the first time, that this is a present tense...it IS for freedom. I don't know about you but when I have heard that verse I would often hear it WAS for freedom...but its about having freedom presently-Now.
You may not be like me...and Praise God for that but me, being honest with you here - i don't always feel free-I feel bound up and when I sin, its not that I have deliberately chosen to in my mind, its like an impulse that I can not shake. Paul's puts it brilliantly in Romans 7:15
'I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.'
But is quite clear - We are free but that freedom is a choice...look again at the 2nd half of Galatains 5:1 ...'Stand firm and do not let yourselves be burdened again...' We have a choice in whether we put the chains back on or not. Each time we sin its like we voluntarily put the shackles back on but then I realised a follower of Christ I am free, the shackles are in my mind...the blood of Christ not only unlocked them, it desecrated them so they have no power or substance any more, unless we allow ourselves to be bound. It is OUR choice, as followers of Christ we are free...
In my gospel choir we had the opportunity, as one of old soloists was back, to sing one of the songs he sings which is called This is How it Feels to Be Free and it hit be (as I had been thinking about freedom) that although this song is designed for non-Christians its so important to take the truth as we walk with Christ, I'll finish my post with the lyrics of the song, originally by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (copyright)
There Is A Wall That Has Been Standing
since The Day That Adam Fell
sin Is Where It Started
and Sin Is Why It Held
speakin As A Prisoner
who Was There And Lived To Tell
I Remember How It Fell
I Can Here The Sound Of Freedom
like A Distant Voice Who Called
and Beckon Me To Follow
where I Had Never Gone
and Though My Heart Is Willin'
I Just Stood There At The Wall
prayin Somehow It Would Fall
But In A Cross I Found A Doorway
and A Hand That Held A Key
and When The Chains Fell At My Feet
for The First Time I Could See
chorus:
This Is How It Feels To Be Free
This Is What It Means To Know That
I Am Forgiven
This Is How It Feels To Be Free
to See That Life Can Be More Than I Imagined
this Is How It Feels To Be Free
this Is How It Feels To Be Free Yeahhh!
there Are Days When I'm Reminded
of The Prison I Was In
like A Livin Nightmare
burning within
I Can Feel The Voice Of Evil
I Can Hear The Call Of Sin
But I Wont Go Back Again
see, Once I've Tasted Freedom
then The Walls Could Bind No More
since Mercy Gave Me Wings To Fly
like An Eagle I Can Soar
somewhere There's A Prison
where The Chains Still Burn
if Not For The Grace Of God
those Walls Could Still Be Mine
so for all the Captives I say
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Don't Look Back in Anger...
This week is quite significant as the 20th March would have been my brother Dave's birthday-this year he would have turned 30 and today marks 14years since he went home to be with the Lord. That's now over a lifetime for me as I was 12 when it happened which I can't really get my head around. In that time as you can imagine-things change, memories fade and have being honest-I can't remember my brothers voice which saddens me but I can still see his face, his smile and his bright blue eyes...
But as I reflect, I find I sometimes feel guilty for looking back, spending time contemplating things and what happened because, as a Christian I should be looking forward to eternity. But when you look through the Bible there are plenty of times when people reflect, remember-look back on what happened to their fore fathers and their fathers. They did this not to beat themselves up and say 'what if', they used it as a way to glorify God to look and say 'Look what God did, isn't he amazing?' They used it as a source of faith to say-we can go from here into tomorrow knowing God is with us.
I have spent so many years of my life reflecting back to that day 14 years ago and for so many years I spent my time looking back in anger to God and my brother, grief, frustration, guilt, resentment to towards God. There have also been many things which through beautiful friends, ministry and the Holy Spirit healing I have had to work through - Praise God He has been faithful.
But when I see how I have grown in my walk with the Lord and how many other people around me and come closer to God and the people I've been able to minister to through it I can honestly echo what Joseph says;
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives...Genesis 50:20
There are some verses that we allow to become so cliche, that the true meaning of them is lost...or being honest-we use them at the wrong time like Romans 8:38
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
there was a time over the years where if one more person had said that verse to me I would have punched their lights out but I can honestly say it is true. I believe the full extent of that will not be known until eternity.
There are days when I still feel pain, when there are still questions but I take comfort in Psalm 22...God is not scared of my questions, it doesn't stop Him being God. Every child asks questions of their Dad...its natural.
So today I resolve, through the strength of the Holy Spirit not to look back in anger but in Love and rejoicing.
this day 14 years ago my life was turned upside down but I am so thankful that I can praise my Saviour for carrying me through and that through what you've done Lord it wasn't 'goodbye' but 'see you soon'...
Monday 14 March 2011
Thoughts from Passion...
2 blogs in a week...man I am spoiling you...or it means I have FAR too much time on my hands! Anyway, in case you weren't aware I have the privilege of working for a fantastic organisation called Christians Against Poverty (CAP) and at the beginning of march we had our staff conference so I just wanted to share a couple of things I learnt, experienced and share it with you. I hope it's helpful :)
So first thing I wanted to share was a revelation about the phrase ' Be still and know that I am God'. Its in Psalm 46 and it's a verse that I've often been given alot (particularly by my mum-that's such a blessing) but in some ways I was never entirely sure what it meant. Coming to staff conference is always hard as a centre manager (or for whatever team actually) as you have to leave behind things you know need doing, people that are in desperate in situations who are desperate for attention-who after not phoning them for 1 day think they are no longer cared for .Right at the beginning at the conference, we were brought to a place of stillness and God brought that verse back to mind and I realised for me, for the first time, what it actually meant. In the stillness I can only help but know that He is God...when I am still-the world still carries on, it hasn't fallen apart without me, life is still able to exist and no part of the universe has ceased to function whereas if God ever did that-EVERYTHING would fall apart...that's why He is God. Life will not fall apart if I take time to be still. That's why I can be still and know that He is God-because I know He is sustaining it all, maintaining it all, causing it all to be in existence-NOT ME...
Be still and KNOW that He is God
It brings such a deep contentment and peace...Praise God for that.
The other thing I realised and it's abit of a question...do you realise how blessed you are? We had Andy Flannagan lead our worship (really nice guy, check out his stuff-www.andyflan.com-he didn't pay me to say that) and He lead us in a song called Heaven to Earth and it's all about social justice and seeing God's kingdom come on earth. The first line- 'We are blessed to bless and world in pieces' and that's where my question comes in...do you know how blessed you are? Because if you do not know that you are blessed...then you will not be able to bless a world in pieces-is that fair to say?make sense? I just want to say publicly that over the course of those few days I realised just how blessed I was-I work for a world-class Christian charity, I am surrounded by passionate Christians who want to see the kingdom of God come into our nation, I am privileged to able to call some of them friends (not just in a facebook sense), I can laugh with them, I can be totally myself with them, they'll include me (a little aside to say-CAP people who read this-thanks for being you and allowing me to be me, you're all amazing-and I'm honoured that God has blessed me to have you in my life), I had clothes to wear each day, I had friends from home who were waiting for me to come back because they love me, a family that love me, a house and roof over my head to return home too-food in the fridge and freezer and cupboards to eat, breath in my lungs to be alive each day and on top of all this a relationship with God the Father, Jesus Christ who died and set me free to be with Him in eternity but also life in all its fullness NOW....I am so blessed - how can I not be a blessing?
Are you blessed?
Sunday 13 March 2011
Do you have enough time...
I have to apologise again for my lack of posts...don't really have any excuses-except being busy...but I'm here now :)
So what do I want to share with you after being so busy? Sharing a few thoughts about rest...I've been considering rest as I don't seem to get alot of it and I sense that's not where God wants me to be...
So during a prayer time on Tuesday I came to God and asked Him about rest. Whenever we think of rest, I don't know about you but I always think of sitting down with a brew, watching TV and basically chilling out-not thinking about the to-do list but something I've realised...the rest that the Bible talks about is so much bigger than that. Rest is about living from a point of completion, not that you have finished the task. But God has. Whilst we live our lives seeking to honour Him and bringing Him glory, and try to speed the day of His return. BUT He has done EVERYTHING that needs to be done in order for us to be in a relationship, we can't earn any brownie points ALL is done.
True rest is about living in complete assurance and confidence that we are in the right place. Rest is to live from a place of complete security and faith. Why does this mean we can live in rest?
Everything I do, I want to Glorify God in but so often in my life I thought by doing so many things, by going to all the church meetings, being there for everyone, completing all the tasks-God would be best with me...but actually, He already is. My self worth is not dependant and value is not on peoples thoughts or my job stability - its all dependant on God and WHAT he thinks of us and THAT'S why we can live in that rest...
Just another thing on that...time-have you ever thought about time?our lives are dominated by it but when I look in the Bible, although it records seasons and times - God's is always about places and people, the task was never more important than the people involved.
Its funny how we are so quick, like the disciples to ask 'is this the time you are going to restore the Kingdom of Israel' and what does Jesus say? 'Its not for you to know the time (or date)...' He only firm indicator that Jesus actually gives for his return is nothing to do with time...its all about PEOPLE...
And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. Matt 24:14
God never runs out of time-his timing is always perfect because its not dependant on our time scale its dependant on Gods heart for that person situation.
So maybe, its time for us to re-think our boundaries...or what we allow to regulate our activities-people or time...and when we live in Gods rest, when we are not trying to please everyone except God-its easier to break the world's boundaries.
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