broken...

#Honestly I need to be broken,
Honestly I need to fall down
Go ahead and shake my foundations, 'cause honestly I'm figurin' out,
Out of al that I have, all that I need is You
Honestly
'Honestly' Carl Cartee, Anadara Arnold, and Elias Dummer

I remember when I first heard this song, it was on a CD of my brother's (Elias Drummer is a friend) and I remember liking it the first time I heard it...and I really liked it but over the past few weeks its come to have a whole new level of meaning.

Have you ever been broken by God? I mean really
broken...basically utterly wrecked and far from being a thing that God could prevent because it hurts-He is the one bringing it into your life in order that you can have a deeper relationship with Him. It's a brokenness that wrecks you of anything that is in this world, anything that we hold onto tightly, anything that we can build our identification and security on other than Jesus. In my life, right now, I believe I am in a season of brokenness. I think it happens in different ways for different people-for some there is a build up and then a few days where its like BANG and they are broken like breaking a window-One moment...but for me, its not like that -because thats the grace of God, our brokenness is tailored to us. God says in 1 corthians that he will never take us beyond what we can endure so in our brokenness, he doesn't break us so we can't be repaired.He breaks us in order to rebuild in His image. My breaking has been abit more like lego tower-over time, piece by piece He has been breaking things off me and in me and every so often its like He breaks the final pieces off the where they are stuck, the foundation I had built them on. When Paul writes that it is not longer I who live but Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20) Paul says I have been crucified with Christ...no I don't know what you know about crucifixion or if you have seen 'Passion of the Christ' but I think when someone is crucified they are indeed broken.
But Christ has died so we don't have to right?Physically speaking, yes, but I have a choice in dying daily and for a lot of my christian life I have said it but not lived it out and we build our foundation on so many other things other than Christ.
Jesus never promised that it would be comfortable. The parable of the wise and foolish man building their houses is a sunday school favourite but it isn't any less true, our lives need to be built on the foundation of Christ - that he is the core of everything. I remember when my Dad was basically rebuilding our house and the foundation that had to be laid were HUGE and others that had to be broken-it took a lot of work to back them down and lay new ones and this is what it is like with our lives...we need to kill/destroy the old ones and have Jesus lay down new ones of Him and His live and kingdom. Coming to the point of brokenness is like standing on the edge of the cliff-God will always give you a choice-you can step off the cliff and embrace the brokenness or you can step back and stay in comfort but not moving forward with Christ.But be warned...
The breaking is PAINFUL. For me it has meant confession of my darkest secrets not only to some of my closest friends but also those who I respect the most in Christ. It has meant admitting to myself who I really am. It has meant a lot of tears and a lot of shouting and screaming. But it doesn't happen until you are ready for it - because of God's grace. My beautiful friend/sister in Christ Rosie explained it this way, its like a spot-you can't squeeze it until its ready to be squeezed otherwise it becomes more painful!(wise girl) For months I've been seeing more and more nothing works without Christ, any system that I have built or tried to build for myself...whether its about how I feel about things or how I cope with things-without Christ its all rubbish...nothing works. I have had to be wreaked of everything else and ask Christ to break it.
I don't believe its over either, I believe I'm still in the middle. There's still more healing, more tears, more screaming, more ministry that needs to occur but I know God will bring me through, an utterly rebuilt broken vessel that can shine for Him as more of Him can be seen brighter than before.That'swhy I need to be broken..."'cause out of all that I have, All that I need is You, honestly."

No challenge today...this is my journey...so here's my prayer for you, May you see Christ's beauty shine through your brokenness and may God by his grace lead you to a place where you know stepping off the cliff to brokenness is the only best move possible.