Well, I apologise now-but this is going to waffle...I suppose I'm using this blog post as a way of cleaning out some of the thoughts in my head...Apologises for the lack of writing the past few weeks, work gets busy, life gets busy and things get pushed to the side lines-you wouldn't believe it when I only work 2 days a week would you??
Anyways...
So my 27th birthday is coming up this week and I find myself with my head feeling very very FULL...so many things are RAMMED in here at the moment which makes it actually quite like...well lets just say I understand how people can go mad, there are so many decisions that I could make-so many of friends are making life-alternating changes at the mo like getting married, having more babies, further studying, buying houses, starting new jobs in new places, pursuing new things, moving to new places and NOTHING of such 'progress' is happening in my life...feels like I'm in a crowd and everything is moving around me and there are responsibilities of manager a centre of a christian charity and working/being in a church with many things going on and other stuff which doesn't need to shared on the net-but lets just say-its in my head...I think I realised how it is possible for mental illness to become such a common thing...when you are struggling to think-it messes everything up!
So yeah...I have all this going round my head-ready to scream at any moment and asking some good conversations with brothers and sisters in Christ I finally come to pray (YES, before you say it...I should have done that first-but hey I'm not exactly thinking straight).During this week on camp we've been thinking about 'the world we all want' and looking forward to heaven and as I came and prayed and read my Bible with all these things going round my head...I came to these scriptures,
'Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.' Col 3:16-17
I'm not ashamed to say I had a little cry...I realise that I had become such a tight-rope walker in my relationship with God. We need to commit the decision about our life in prayer (maybe not all-like what to have for lunch...but hey-feel free to discuss!)but if we looking to follow his rule, listening to him and honouring him with our lives then actually-we could do anything...because ANYTHING we do should be for his Glory. Does that make sense?? For me, that brought such a release. In verse 16 actually gives the main focus of life anyway-to have the message of Christ dwelling in us richly, in that fellowship where we can teach and admonish each other - i.e. the church...
I allow my head to become so full of everything when I take my eyes off Christ but when we focus on Him, it all makes so much sense. He has actually told us that this is not to be our focus anyways...our life-what we do...
One of my fav people on the planet - Jenny Smithson shared her testimony at camp this year (which never fails to make me cry) about her mother going to be with her Saviour after dying in this world of cancer and she read from C.S. Lewis's book the Last Battle, the final extract being...
'"There wasa real railway accident," said Aslan softly."Your father and mother and all of you are - as you used to call it in the Shadowlands - dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."
And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can mostly truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: not at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever:...'The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S.Lewis page 767
Jesus constantly preached about the Kingdom of God being here - He came to bring to bring the Kingdom...as we pray 'On earth as it is in heaven' but NOTHING we do on this earth, even miracles and the signs and wonders are not going to compare with the beauty, majesty and magnificence of heaven when Jesus returns to claim His bride to be with Him...this IS only the title page and cover.
Lord I pray that whatever I do would be for your Glory, to see your full gospel proclaimed and that the way I live the cover and title page of the story would be so full of You that they will want to enter into the full story of your good news of eternity...
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