Because of today...

Today is what has commanly become known as Good Friday. This confused me for years...everything about this holiday-on the face value, without the understanding of what takes place says its bad-its celebrating a miscarriage of justice and one of the most painful deaths ever experienced by man...
But through my tears, my redeemed soul and His Spirit within me cry out it is Good Friday. Why? Because from today, we can finally understand what Love looks like.

Because from today, we know crimson/scarlet stains make it white as snow,

Because from today we know that we cry out to a God who understands pain.

Because of today we have a God who knows what is to overcome temptation and lead us through,

Because of today we can be secured in the depths of the love of our saviour for us,

Because of today we have know our God understands rejection, ridicule, humiliation, anxiety, fear, worry.

Because of today we understand that God understands.

Because of today we know Jesus can walk with us through anything as he has been through the worst of everything.

Because of today we know God is passionate about us,

Because of today we know God desperately wants a relationship with us,

Because of today every part of my body can be touched by His power-every part of Him was broken for that,

Because of today I now hold my head high because God passionately pursued me,

Because of today I can share the torture story so a tortured world set free,

Because of today I can give up the power struggle for my life,

Because of today there is no curse,

Because of today I am free from punishment,

Because of today I am no longer a slave,

Because of today I see exactly who I am and whose I am,

Because of today the wrath of God was eternity-once and for all satisfied. Because of today-everything was about to change...It was Friday but Sunday's coming..

Because of today...

sometimes recycling isn't healthy

I've just moved house. I'm really excited about this-its the first time in 3 years that I'm not lodging. Don't get me wrong-lodging was fantastic and a real gift from God at the time but it wasn't somewhere to call 'mine'-the houses belonged to others but in my new place, although shared and rented its still mine-I can decorate it how I want, my land lord doesn't live with me. This has brought so much freedom and allowed me to stir up giftings such as hospitality...its brilliant. However - this has presented a challenge as I don't have my own furniture but you what I have come to LOVE-2nd hand shops...they are AMAZING. When you look, you get good quality things (they must be, as they have lasted well) for a fantastic cost and often have much more character than some cheaper flat pack Scandinavian furniture store product (by the way...I do LOVE that store).I do like 2nd hand living, recycling is good. During this moving and furniture getting process I have discovered something about myself-whether its a God revelation or whether its me thinking through circumstances and applying where I see fit...I realise, in my life, I've been living 2nd hand before. I've been living 2nd hand in my life with God. I will forever be thankful for my upbringing, for being taught from a young age that Jesus is King and He is Lord. This has, I discovered, compounded with my laziness, has meant that I have lived from 2nd hand revelation...rather than reading the Word of God for myself, I have simply taken in sermons, quotation of Bible verses and teaching that others have given rather than looking into myself, if you like, living off others revelation rather than my own-living 2nd hand. But you may say, 'Hannah, I don't do that-I've made my own descion to follow Christ-not just follow my parents faith.' That's good, me too- I've always been and have taught that you can't live off your parents faith, that it is a personal decision and YOU have to make the decision as an individual which is right but how often, especially if we have 'grown up in church', do we just accept a teaching or a particular argument for something because its from a denomination we trust or someone we like has said it? How often do we look in the Word or spend time praying after a sermon and ask God what HE says about it? I've realised there are things that I have argued passionately about in my life and discovered that actually-I only believed it because it was something I had always been told, not something I had come to believe myself. This isn't what Christ called us into. He called us to be in relationship with Him. Not just 'everyone, each one of us, individually. Unless we have the revelation and hear from Christ himself from His word we live on very dangerous ground-remember the parable of the house built on the rock and sand (Matt 7:24-2) if we have not discovered the revelation for ourselves, it will not be a rock in our lives, it'll will just be a knowledge in our heads rather a conviction of our hearts and THAT is when it is built on sand. A real relationship, a true relationship isn't just knowledge 'about' that person.I mean-I can tell you all about David Tennant or Benedict Cumberbacth but I am not in a relationship 'with' them (except in my imagination *cough* anyway moving on...) there is no connection of the heart. Jesus calls us to be in relationship WITH Him not just know ABOUT. I confess so much of my life I have lived 2nd hand, from recycled teaching and ideas from others... Lord let me live with the genuine original life and relationship with you. Sometimes recycling is not good for the planet for you, sometimes its not healthy...

It's only words...

I am good at talking. This is something I realised a while ago. I'm sure many of you will have realised, but something I've discovered is that I do rather more of it then I ever used to...I was once given the compliment that was also given to my Dad-at the time I didn't realise how much of a compliment it was, it was a long the lines of 'you don't say much but what you do say is full of wisdom and always worth listening to.' 
Over the years as the masks I've wore have swapped and changed, my speech have become loosened and I realise now I talk, maybe rather too much and because of this, find myself locked into situations which I can not get out of, situations which maybe even God does not want me in.Then I find myself trapped as I want to be a woman of my word-('But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; ³⁵ or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. ³⁶ And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. ³⁷ All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ Matt 5:34-37).I have got into the habit of reading Proverbs and there's a lot written about speech, words and in the Bible as a whole - not just about 'perverse words' or 'curse language' but about the frequency of speech...


The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves,  but a fool’s heart blurts out folly. Proverbs 12:23


Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.Proverbs 10:19


The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.Proverbs 15:2


Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. Proverbs 17:28


Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23


A dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech of a fool. Eccelesiaties 5:3


It would seem that, according to the Bible, it is a good thing to hold your tongue and there is much greater wisdom, if only in appearance, of restricting your words. Yet I've believed the lie for so long that if you know something you should share it...but is that just so I can gain the approval of those around me? so I can be popular rather than letting them love me for what God shines through? Or just because I like talking?
I've heard it said in christian circles/teaching that we stop talking in order to be able to listen to people-this is true, but what if we should stop talking just to stop talking-because there is no need to speak?
In James (and in proverbs I have discovered) it says that life and death is in the power of the tongue (James 3:6) This instrument of communication that God has given is an AMAZING gift and we are called to use it to proclaim Gods goodness 'how will they know unless they have heard?(can't find reference-see next blog...)' But like any tools that God has given us we need to learn to manage it well.


Lord, I repent for becoming, with my masks and seeking of people's praise, too quick to speak. Teach me how and when to speak and not speak and as David cried out, 'Save me, LORD, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.'(Psalm 120:2)...including when those lips and tongues are my own...


I pray that I become a woman of God known as much for what I don't say as for what I do...